Five years ago, I was left behind or I left it behind on my own volition. I don't think I ever recovered. I set up a self-imposed trap for myself, personally, to walk into, by myself. I stare at it blankly and poke at it with my forefinger like a curious child, without a clue as to why it is here, how i got here and whether anything would feel different without it - a phantom perched, waiting patiently for me to make the first move. The appeal of it doesn't lie in wait at the heart, but in the trappings surrounding. My eyes rest on it now, fixed.